Self-talk is your "inner voice" or the way you talk to yourself. Most self-talk is subconscious and becomes a habitual thought pattern. Self-talk is important because it affects the way you view yourself and carry yourself in the world.
The effects of self-talk
Self-talk can be positive or negative. People with mainly positive self-talk will likely be happier, more successful, and have a more positive mindset overall. Whereas people who mostly have negative self-talk will often have mental health issues such as depression, chronic stress and anxiety.
Sometimes the effect of negative self-talk can be more subtle and less noticeable. Any negative self-talk can still lead to self-sabotage and stops you from achieving your full potential. In many cases, you will find that the areas you struggle with are due to the negative self-talk or beliefs you have around this issue.
Where does negative self-talk come from?
Negative self-talk is often a subconscious habit that is based on a negative past experience or belief. It could have been triggered from your early childhood. You may not even remember the incident or cause. However the thought or idea stayed with you well into adulthood. Negative self-talk could have been formed based on past experiences or perceptions. It may not be logical or even true but it was how you perceived it and now it became how you view yourself and talk to yourself repeatedly.
If as a child, you were contiuously yelled at by a parent, it may have lead you to think that you weren't good enough. This "I'm not good enough" mindset will have continuously been on your mind since childhood. Now, as an adult you have a habitual thinking pattern of "I'm not good enough". It comes up every time you want to do something good for yourself. You may start a healthy diet and excercise routine or a new project and then you give up after a short period of time. It's because the negative self-talk sabotages you from reaching your goals long-term and having the life you want.
How to STOP negative self-talk
Fortunately there are proven ways for stopping self-talk. The following 3 step process can help. Using the Catch-Challenge-Change method repeatedly will help break the old habit of negative self-talk to attain a more positive mindset.
1- "Catch" the negative self-talk
Through becoming more aware of your self-talk you can start the first step toward positive change. You need to "catch" yourself when speaking negatively. Writing down those negative thoughts or beliefs will help you become more self-aware of negative self-talk. Everytime those negative ideas come you can "catch" yourself.
2- "Challenge" the negative self-talk
After becoming aware of the thoughts or negative self-talk you can now challenge it. You can tell yourself that "this may have been my experience in the past but now it is not". Or "this thought no longer serves me because ..." or "My parent was dealing with her own issues. It has nothing to do with me."
3- "Change" it to a positive self-talk
Then the last step is to change it to a more positive thought. Replace the thought you do not want with a thought you do want. For example, replace the I am "not good enough" to "I am good enough" or "I am worthy and I will succeed".
This method is an effective strategy to more positive self-talk. The key is to keep doing it repeatedly until you break the old negative cycle. Everytime that negative thought comes up bring it to your awareness by catching, challenging, then change it to a more positive one. You will gradually form a new habit until the positive thought becomes the new subconscious or default thought pattern.
The power of self-talk
Reseach indicates that people who are successful generally have more positive self-talk.
Imagine the effects of changing "I'm not worthy" and "I am a failure" to "I'm worthy" and "I can achieve anything". Just this simple shift in mindset will have a tremendous impact on your self-talk and hence your life overall. Now imagine tackling all these negative beliefs that you have, one-at-a-time, until you become someone who is a habitual positive self-talker.
Just remember Mohamad Ali's famous quote "I am the greatest" and you will realise the power of positive talk.
Maria A Kader
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